hentikanlah....

31 Mac 2005

merenung jauh hadirnya gusar...
tatkala hujan sedang air berpusar...
tersenyum manja disebalik kucar...
setitis air bergelimang segar...

tangan erat genggaman kesumat...
ingin melihat semua tersurat...
tapi daya takut teramat...
mungkin sepi segala nikmat...

mata tertutup ingin hindari...
tetapi hati tetap berseri...
setiap hari ternanti-nanti...
setiap hari termimpi-mimpi...

akankah indah merenung matamu..
akankah suci melihat hatimu...
akankah telus merasa getarmu...
akankah cinta memeluk ragamu....

tapi ku silap...hatiku malap...
dikau tak nampak hari-hari genap...
ku terpesong....dan tidak berharap..
kau ke sini dan memberi harap...

kini ku ingin doa berserah...
mungkin ingin menyerah kalah...
buat hatiku yang sering pasrah...
sedarlah diri ...dan hentikanlah...

lihat saja pada dirimu...
bukan putri... jauh lagi ratu...
henti bertanya siapa kamu...
henti berharap kasihnya itu...

apakah kau ingat cinta bertakhta...
wahai sayang bukalah mata...
bukan ini yang dicari si dia..
bukan aku si pengasih lara...

aku berlutut dan berharap cuma...
doa bersemi dan termakbul jua...
ku pohon tegas wahai lara...
berharap tiada..hentilah sengsara.....

merenung jauh hadirnya gusar......

3.40 pm

note2Self_ njoy it while it last....dont ask about the next day...njoy it while u can....dont ask how long its here...njoy it while its bloming....don't ask if its forever....njoy while its mine....don't ask when it goes to the other

(generally i'm upset about *****_********....n i dont know why lar....
gosh i can't stop thinkin about him....but i can't read his hidden line...dont even think its the right time to think this way....but its gettin me edgy n desperately needy...n i just wish he made his move....but i guess its not gonna happend.....who am i kiddin...him fallin for me....ello?....ellor?....aish!!)

damn i'm sleepy...elp

My Thoughts - Ezalman

Since I got 5 minutes to spare, I think I'd like to post something on my sister's blog - my siblings all complain I dont update my blog, so why not start commeting on others right?

Anyway - I had dinner with her last night, and to my amazement she showed me her brand new Tag watch...well for the record I would like to congratulate my sister in making the _very_ big leap into the realm of buying expensive cr*p!

...and to think she's being eyeing it for the past 11 years...so Curry : take good care of the watch...and dont forget Abalone's Law : Upgrade every 18 months!!

Ta!
My Thoughts - Ezalman

stay CalmLy_Insane( " , )

29th Mac 2005

i hate the day...n so tonite..
especially when nothin is right...
i feel i need to give u might...
to tell how much i hate to fight...

i hate that day...n so last nite...
especially when u said goodNite...
i feel i lost n so not right..
to tell how much i need u tonite...

i hate the stars...n so the height...
especially when there is no light...
i feel i like u when uptight...
to tell how i much i wasn't right...

i hate these tears...n so this ice...
especially when it feels so wise...
i fell so numb n its been thrice...
to tell u need to throw this dice...

i hate to feel...n so to weep..
id rather scream n keep it deep...
u looked at me as i asleep...
u held me tight n whispered.....
..."Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppppppppppppp"...*


* beep beep is the sound on my phone when there is a missCall or sms message that got in...
its a reminder that someone did remember me n that there is nothin wrong wit my phone...(works perfectLy well...hehehe)..
but it pisses me off....cause usually by then i'm either asleep, bored or pissedOff cause waited muchMuch earlier for a reply....
n by the time that beepBeep goes..
i'm like "ScrewU!!!!!".....

note2Self_ this book im reading "the rhythm of anger"....
could this be the cause i'm lashin crazily over practically....
everything?......aish!
damn im hungry...( " , )


12.00 noon

...for i am near....

26th Mac 2005

go the deepest despair....
run a mile for fresh air...
hold u're breath just to keep bare...
don't u worry.. for i am there....

go the darkest hour...
run just for cover...
hold u're tougue to keep it nearer...
don't u worry...for i am clear....

go the warmest desire...
run just to pespire...
hold u're love just to keep the admire..
don't u worry....for i am near...

10.55 am

innocent beauty_this ones for u..hang in there k.
Lurves n Muaks2,
curry

Lady Tag_Heuer*

25th Mac 2005

after all these years....after all these tears....
feardom n freedom not forgetting boredom...
its finally here....come near to hear...

waiting for u was all my option..
nothing else kept my notion..
if only i knew to make a potion..
i wouldve done it in a motion...

i've travelled far....to places with no tar....
i've raced the clouds... to make myself proud...
i've dived the sea....of satan n bees....
i've crossed the line....to be sure what's mine

but nothing can compare...or even let bare...
of all thats true...even with no clue...
never felt missUsed...or even abused...
i'm finally here....Little Miss Tag_Heuer

9.10am

*curry_n_crap would like to note that after 11 years of wait n despair...thought she never would've wear...something to stare...womething worth the nitemare...
(ok ok...enough of me ryhming n finding words of same sounds...)
i've finaly got my very own(very original) tagHeuer!!!!!
the classics are the best....
i hereBy declare (ehem...myself)....U're Xcellency Lady Tag_Heuer

i would like the this oppurtunity to thank the genius who invented credit cards.....not forgetting citibank for trusting me as their customer n thankU for the 12 months installment plan (zero interest) that has changed my life n made me the person i am today.
i accept this award (Lady Tag_Heuer....ahaks) as a token to all my fans n critics who has been by myside for all these years....this ones for u...
LIHATLAH DUNIA!!!!

(muakakakakakakakkaakak!kakakakak!)

curry da bosan curry da bosan curry da bosan
(sing.....all together now!!!!!....kihkihkih)

p/s: friday lar...gimme a break....better yet a kitKAt?

this fine line.....

17 Mac 2005

here i throw...
another flow...
nothing to grow...
watched by a crow...

here i stand....
with my rubber band...
nothing to feel grand...
i could hardly hold u're hand....

here i wait...
something already late...
ure standing by the gate...
i was never there awake....

here i am....
as lost as i am...
as cold as c'yan...
as brown as my tan....

here i fear...
things so near..
nothing is clear...
would u save my tear?...

here's the line....
between being fine..
between hating whats mine...
as i'm losing this time.....

10.30am

note2_Self:*shop when im angry, piss when im hungry, swallow when i'm notty, run when i'm kinky, sleep wit no undie, lie when unworthy....
n life keeps the irony...
as i'm lost n puny.....
uuuuurgh!!!!*

akankah bertemu?

15 Mac 2005

lantas tersedar di awal ini...
lesu lara menteteramkan diri...
mata terbuka tapi enggan menatapi...
segala semua terkubur mati...

lantas terbangun ingin diciumi..
lesu menanti menenangkan hati.
pintu terbuka tapi dikau menyepi...
segala semua terkulai mati...

lantas berlari pantas mengejari...
lesu hati mengingatkan mati...
tangan kubuka sedekah dinanti...
segala semua berlalu pergi...

lantas berlalu sinar pagi...
lesu difikir kian hari...
tanah dibuka menanti hari...
segala semua datang membasahi...

lantas terfikir di sudut ini...
lesu mengamati wajah ini..
akankah mungkin aku dimiliki...
harapan terkubur terkulai mati...

lantas ku gergas melangkah pergi...
lesu menanti tak muncul lagi..
akankah mungkin bertemu kembali...
akankah mungkin tersemat lagi....

2.35pm

note2Self_i need to sweat off some fat today......(aaah?...)

is life all about updatting?????

14 Mac 2005

i like to wonder ...when nothing else left to ponder...of things that make me slumber..three months after december...

is life all but updatting?....like another day like this evening...files state only that and nothing...isn't life just amusing..

just when i thought its just for working...i realized my life also is about updatting...hows the cooking n the dating....everything they want some updatting..

why still asking...about that nothing....about that something...not worth wondering...
is it a sin ....to leave it juggling...is it a sin...to leave it pending...

i hate to answer..to things that make me ponder...things i better not answer..things i better keep slumber....

i lack updatting....but im here listening...
i lack socializing...but i'm here praying...
i lack calling...but i am willing...
i lack updatting....so leave me lying ...

ait?

note_ my periods due n left my LegalAddicts at home...so inspiration preety LOST ...HEHEHE.....i need some suga!!!.....aaaaah

rhythm of thoughts

10th Mac 2005

ive got loads this morning...
but i'm lost to say something..
brake this wall and stop lying...
if only i knew when i was flying...

ever felt like crying....
while u're laziLy watching...
them news bout them dying..
thru that puny tele that i feel like throwing....

ever felt like boring...
as u lay n trying...
tellin me e'thing's falling...
think u should b calling...

i've none left for whinning..
just leave myself spinning...
n u'll know i'll start buying...
once i know what's cooking...
(?????????)

ever felt like dying...
like on the rift of retiring..
as u're still up but laying...
as u wait for that calling...

ever felt like loving..
like the only breath worth saving...
like the one u left cold n starving...
like the time u need calm n craving....

these r just thoughts all living...
this is me crazy n depressing...
but i am still horny n laughing...
so lets go loud n go fishing

10.30 am.

ledakan ini...

9th Mac 2005

ledakan ini...
kala tragedi kian terjadi...
pergolakan sudah pasti.....
antara dua negeri...

ledakan ini...
kian menjijik hati..
sekali ku memerhati...
seringkali bertanya lagi...

ledakan ini..
kian melambai kembali...
dua negeri kian mengulangi...
sejarah lama mungkin dihidupi...

ledakan ini....
suatu yang pasti...
walau kerna kecil pulau ini....
walau kerna kecil sempadan ini...

ledakan ini...
memuntahkan benci...
antara dua negeri...
irihati semakin menjadi...

ledakan ini...
sentiasa akan kembali...
walau ribuan dihalau pergi...
walau ribuan diterima kembali...

ledakan ini...
akan terus menghantui..
akan terus menggaburi...
akan terus menghampiri...

ledakan ini....
mungkin akan pergi...
atau terus perlu berlari...
hadapi realiti ini...

kisah ledakan ini.



curry_n_crap
10.05 am

apa ku ingini

8th Mac 2005

terbuku erat di hati ini
segala mimpi tidak pasti
segala harapan tidak dikompromi
segala niat tidak dihajati...

terbuku dalam di minda ini
apakah arti kehidupan ini
apakah denai laluan ini
ke arah suatu yang diingini....

terbuku utuh di jasad ini
keinginan untuk melangkah pergi
tapi apakah itu misi ini
sentiasa pergi di kala begini....

terbuku ruas di tangan ini
suatu doa titian hari
akankah iman sehangat api
tatkala hari hati dicabuti....

terbuku ikhlas di hati ini
ingin mencari dikala menanti
sebelum pergi ku ingin amati
sebuah cinta yang tidak perlu dibeli....

terbuku jelas di ruang ini
walaupun hati sentiasa dikaburi
belum lagi ku miliki
belum pasti apa ku ingini.....

curry dan segala buangannya
(get it..get it...hehe)

8.30 am

note2Self_ eppy womens day.....celebrate by indulging wit something worthWhile...goodFood perhaps....( " ,)

p/s: i'm back...kihkihkihkihkihkih

*temporary out of service*

due to current events that has occured on a sudden basis

(aku accident lar people..kinda lost my inspiration to xpress...hehehehe)

curry_n_crap moderator would apologize for not updatting this bloggy lateLy...
she has just mended n her carPlate n will service her car this weekend...
n then hopiefully she will continue what she does best (u know bullshitting) after that...

( " , )

cheers!